McWonk

Donald Trump is not a racist, misogynist, or a corporatist…but he DID stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Devil’s Advocate – In common parlance, a devil’s advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position they do not necessarily agree with, for the sake of debate or to explore the thought further.
-Wikipedia

Pundits the world over have been gnashing their collective teeth the last few weeks, trying to figure out Donald Trump, his motivations – as well as the reason he’s polling so well with the Republican-voting populace. While the reasons for his polling success are obvious and depressing, that’s not what I want to talk about today. I heard a phrase in a meeting today (about a totally unrelated topic) that instantly resonated with me in describing Donald Trump and his motivations.

You’ve heard the term Devil’s Advocate many times – there’s even a movie with that title. But the phrase I heard this morning was uttered by someone who was jokingly disparaging himself. Instead of Devil’s Advocate, he called himself Devil’s Jerk. Doesn’t that sound familiar?

Trump’s ego won’t let him shut up – not about himself (or anything else, apparently) but the ideas he throws out there don’t seem to be – in the normal Devil’s Advocate usage – for the purpose of exploring a thought he may not hold himself – but instead to just be a jerk. Winning the debate at any cost seems to be his motivation, and I can’t help but think this new term Devil’s Jerk describes that perfectly.

“North Korea is establishing its own time zone by turning back the clocks 30 minutes”

Believe it or not, North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-Un, has now invented time travel. Considering his past accomplishments in fields like golf (the first he picked up a club, he shot a 38 under par, including 11 holes in one), literature (he wrote 1,500 books during his 3 years at university), and music (during university, he also wrote 3 full operas which are considered better than anything else in the history of music). And let’s not forget the fact – fact, mind you – that his birth was divine, and he doesn’t even have to go to the bathroom. I shit you not!

His latest move – time travel – seems a natural next step. Naturally, Western media have been grossly inaccurate about this development, and are merely talking about a 30 minute clock change, but in reality, Fearless Leader invented time travel quite some time ago – by moving North Korea 100 years into the past. This 30 minute jump isn’t even a rounding error, really.

“Now is the time for Americans to set aside their differences and do what I want.”

“Don’t go away mad; just go away.”

There’s always next year!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled four years of irrelevancy, already in progress.

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo,
I’ve got a perfect soundbite for you.
Oompa Loompa, Doompadah Dee,
If you’re brainwashed you’ll listen to me.
What do you get when you vote GOP?
Let the debt grow, the Elephants eat free.
What are you at, talking about a VAT?
Who do you think will vote for that?
I don’t like the look of it.
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah,
If you’re real greedy, you will go far.
You will live in luxury, too,
Like the oompa loompa doompadee do.
Doompadee doo!

—

Hey, at least both of the above people are less scary than this one:

Reports have been confirmed that the Republican Party is actually attempting to create zombies, so as to take over the United States, and have even released some of these creatures on the unsuspecting populace!

There are already three different test cases that have been released into the populace: teabaggers, birthers and deathers.

In all cases, mental activity is absolutely zero, yet they keep moving around, menacing the living, going after anyone who looks like they have a brain. The teabagger test case flamed out fairly quickly, the birthers took quit a bit longer, and the deathers are still going.

As a fundraising effort, there’s even a new computer game coming out, an unauthorized sequel to the Left 4 Dead franchise, to be called ‘Jingos 4 Jesus’. I can’t wait!

President Obama’s “Cap and Trade” initiative to reduce CO2 is being stripped down to a level that is of vastly smaller benefit that intially proposed. What’s most odd about this is that, according to the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart (on the July 21st, 2009 episode), the politicians watering down the bill are not Republicans, but fellow Democrats!

Ouch.